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The Ghost of Expected Surprises
Here, Cratchet, what do you think you're doing?
Uh, er, leaving sir.
Leaving? It's 5 minutes to the hour. Shall I dock your pay
accordingly.
Uh, er, no sir.
No sir? Well it's back to work for you then, and be quick
about it. And I don't expect your mind to be off home before your
body gets out the door either, what?
Uh, er, no sir.
Quite.
Will you be doing anything for Christmas, sir?
Christmas, Schmissmiss.
Uh, er, what sir?
Schmi, schmish. Smiss.
Are you okay, sir?
Schmee, smaa, ooh.
Mr. Scrooge, sir? Mr. Scrooge? Mr. Scroo?.
***********************************************************************
Oooohhh. Ooooooooooooooh!
What? Who? What? Oh!
EEEIIIIII am the Ghooooost of Expeeeected Surprises.
What? What? Again? Not again. Oh please, spirit, not again.
Please no.
EEEIIIIII visited yoooooou laaaast year,
Scroooooooooooooge.
Oh, yes, spirit, that you did. That you did. Ooooooooh, and
here I forgot!
FOOOOORGOOOOOT!!!!!
Oh, please spirit. Not so loud. Not again. Not again.
Why am I heeere again, Scrooooooooge? Why again?
Uh, uh, because I forgot the very thing that comes around
every year. I forgot, yet again, Spirit. Silly me. Oh, silly
silly me. I'm a bad man, spirit. Please have mercy. Oh
please.
What is the Deeeeefinition of Expeeeected, Scrooooooge?
Um, of course, yes, I know this, why it's something known in
advance. Yes. Known in advance, spirit. Something you can see
coming. It's clear. It's clear now, spirit. Foresight. Advanced
knowledge.
And yet you are caught unprepaaaaaared again this year,
Scroooooooge!!
I am, good spirit. I am wholly unprepared. I didn't see you
coming either, I fear. Stupid, silly man that I am. Oh spirit.
Please. What is to become of me?
Yoooooouuuuuuu knoooooow.
Oooooh. Not that spirit. Anything but that.
Yeeees. Scroooge. Revise yoooooour buuuuuudgettt.
My, my budget, spirit? But I have a budget.
Muuuuuussssst yooooou beeee reminded agaaaaain? Yooooou have a
moooonthleeey budget, Scroooooge. Buuut you have nooooo
alloooocation foor annual expeeeennnssses.
I forgot, spirit. I forgot.
Eveerrrry year yooooou have nooooo money fooooor
Christmaaaaas. Noooo money foooooor birthdaaaaay gifts, noooooo
money foooooor caaarriage insurance, noooo caaaash for property
taaaaxes.
No spirit. Never a penny. Never a pound. Never a schekel I
fear. I'm tapped out and credit cards haven't been invented
yet!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Never meeeention credit caaards,
Scrooooooooge!
Sorry, spirit.
The Ghoooost of Future Expeeeeected Surprises is beset with
credit caaaaard nightmaaaaares! Yoooooou don't waaaant a visit
from hiiim.
No spirit, no. Not him. I've learned my lesson spirit. I have.
I know I have. I will budget for annual expenses from now on. No
longer will Ebenezer Scroooge be surprised by the expected.
Caught without cash for things he knew, and always knew, were
coming...yet again.
Caaaaash fooooor Christmaaaaaaas gifts too,
Scroooooooooooge?
Wa, uh, ee, well, uh?
About The Author
Rick Hoogendoorn has been in the financial services industry
in Victoria, BC since 1991. Happy Holidays from Cheri Crause
& Associates Inc.
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